Tuesday, November 29, 2005

'Illegal' is such a harsh word --
let's just call them 'uninvited'

Details of President Bush's plan to deal with illegal immigration:
  • “Invisible fence” that triggers a mild electric shock as immigrants cross border.
  • Great Wall of China, except in America.
  • Start calling illegal immigrants who’ve already moved here “extra very special guests.”
  • Giant green door with sign, “Bell Out of Order -- Please Knock.”
  • Moat.
  • Offer huge tax cuts to illegal immigrants who agree to leave right away, no questions asked.
  • When Mexico and Canada aren’t looking, move America to giant crystal structure in the Arctic (“Operation Fortress of Solitude”).
  • Hire French guys to throw cows at them when they try to get in.
  • Teach all real Americans the secret password.
  • Giant invisible force field.


MuppetLord said...

You could try a minefield a couple of miles wide.

smudge said...

now that's not friendly. Let's make it a Mime Field. If they make it across they've earned their passage. Also a very good place to position the nations mime resources.

Underachiever said...

Why don't we just settle this in a civilized manner. Like "The Battle of the Network Stars"


ps ....and now Felipe will have to mud wrestle Kathy Lee Gifford and Jamie Farr.

Better yet let's deport Kathy Lee Gifford.