Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Does Jesus know about this?

When I heard that a British reverend had written an abbreviated version of the Bible that can be read in 100 minutes, I couldn't help but think, how do you decide what gets left out? Focus groups? I can see the comment cards now:
  • "Dude, I was snoozing during all those begats."
  • "When that Job guy got all the sores? Ew."
  • "Mark, John, Luke -- one version is enough, for crying out loud!"
  • "I think four days and four nights would be plenty. I mean we get it, it was wet."
  • "More Sodom & Gomorrah! More Sodom & Gomorrah!"
  • "Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego -- it takes about 10 minutes just to get through those names. What's wrong with Moe, Larry and Curly?"
  • "That whale would be a lot cooler if it was a killer whale."
  • "Come on, 40 years in the desert? I mean we get it, it was hot."
  • "Cut that whole 'God created the heavens and the earth' part down to two days and you've got yourself a hit on your hands."
  • "That Revelations stuff ... I don't know, I think that could have waited for the sequel."

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