Tuesday, January 31, 2006

'And no, I still haven't
seen Brokeback Mountain'

The State of the Union speech had to be halted
when Vice President Dick Cheney
remembered he'd left his pacemaker back in the bunker.

Favorite quotes from President Bush's State of the Union speech:

  • "We're gonna have to face it, we're addicted to love. Er, foreign oil."
  • "Cars of the future will be powered by ethanol made from weed. Weeds! I meant to say weeds!"
  • "The state of our union is strong. I'd even go so far as to say it's wicked strong."
  • "We need to encourage children to take more math and science -- and not just gut courses, like that geology class I squeaked through at Yale."
  • "Hey, Sam! Like the robe! What say we get together after the speech and roll Ted Kennedy?"
  • "Anybody got some weed? Weeds! I meant to say weeds! Oh hell, just make it a bourbon."


Leena said...


Dr.John said...

Unkind and kind of stupid. What he really said was bad enough.

Roger Owen Green said...

I haven't watched it yet. Was it REALLY that interesting?

Jorge said...

That's some solid speech writing.

Underachiever said...

At one point the President was overheard saying... I do what I want Gawsh!

Undr(Napolean TNT)

George Larson said...

I had a comment to make before I read Dr.John's.


Regardless, I found this post entertaining.

Marti said...

At least he didn't go the Soylent Green route and suggest we save energy and Medicare by using the elderly as fuel.

(There, that is such a horrid statement it should get YOU out of hot water - snicker)

Happy Groundhog Day from the sarcastic-because-my-blog-died Marti

smudge said...

elderly as fuel you say... hmmm... especially timely with the baby boomers hitting the 65 mark.

Vast new reseves found in Florida!

I loved George's speech. The secret is to turn off the volume and play "monkey chased the weasel" over and over and watch the republicans POP out of their seats everytime George successfully struggled through a sentence with a big word.

To be fair however, Gov. Tim Kaine SUCKS at public speaking as bad as George. With the addition of not having an ounce of good ol boy charm in him. He was reading from a teleprompter...very very badly. He sounded like Captain Kirk. "The government.... is not .... doing the job that you want it.... to. The No Child Left.....Behind act..." We need more actors in the whitehouse. They're much better at reading their lines.