Tuesday, August 16, 2005

So Johnny, if you're ever
exposed to gamma radiation
and turned into a hulking monster,
remember, that's no reason to be rude

Mmmmm! Hamburgers make Hulk forget he's
a mindless creature consumed by rage!

Now, if I remember my comic books correctly, the Incredible Hulk was raging, violent maniac, prone to smashing anything (cars, buildings, that supervillain with the huge forehead) that got in his way. So should I find it disturbing that there appears to be a series of children's books in which the Hulk helps kids learn good manners? In a treehouse? While eating hamburgers and french fries? With "Spider-Girl"?

I'm against the whole thing. First of all, Hulk wouldn't be caught dead in a treehouse, unless he was smashing it into little splinters in a gamma ray-induced explosion of anger. Second, he wouldn't say "please" or "thank you" under any circumstances; he would say "Hulk smash!" Or if it was the TV show he would say "ARRRRRGHHH!" But not in a polite way.

All I know is, if the Hulk of the comic books, or the TV show, or the horrible movie in which Nick Nolte turns into a giant, energy-sucking jellyfish, acted in a polite manner, that wouldn't have been good for anybody. Except possibly those people who kept beating up Bill Bixby every week.


mrs. awesome said...

it is a sad sad day for mankind. all this pc crap makes me want to train my kid a la ted nugent.

Rima said...

If Hulk were going through some kind of finishing school thing, might he learn to wear clothes? Perhaps all his rage is really due to low blood sugar. I get that way sometimes. The burger and coke helps that, I'm sure. Just look out Spider Girl, cause when he crashes, it ain't gonna be pretty.