Well, it seems that Janet Jackson -- you may have seen her left bosom perform at the Super Bowl last year -- may have birthed a secret baby with her then-secret husband 18 years ago. If this turns out to be true, all I can say: Why, oh why, couldn't Britney have showed the same discretion?
In fact, I contend that we'd all be better off if celebrities kept pretty much everything they did a secret, in many cases including their albums and movies. Do you hear me, celebrity America? The new code word is "stealth."
Meanwhile, please e-mail me if you'd like copies of Britney's stolen baby photos.