You probably noticed that I hadn’t weighed in on the controversy over the Northwestern women’s lacrosse team wearing flip-flops to meet the president. This is because I’ve been carefully considering the issue, and also because I know the average women’s lacrosse player could take me in a fight, even without the stick.
Still, I’ve decided that I really must speak out and declare: Flip-flops are just wrong. Not necessarily for meeting the president — with his track record, he’s lucky anyone visits him at all. No, I’m against flip-flops in general, because I believe it’s fundamentally wrong to declare two slabs of rubber and some string to be actual footwear. What would Florsheim say?
Granted, I’m no expert, being as I’ve never worn a flip-flop in my life. I suppose there’s a chance that if I did I’d be overcome by exhilaration, reveling in the freedom I felt as I skipped down the road in my practically-bare feet, my rubber slabs slapping the ground like hands joyously smacking against a bongo drum. But I doubt it.
To read the rest of this week's AT LARGE by Peter Chianca, click here.