Monday, February 15, 2010

AT LARGE Fake News Monday: John Mayer Sued For $3.1 Mil By John Mayer's Unit

LOS ANGELES (CAP) - John Mayer's penis, whom the singer compared to Klu Klux Klan leader David Duke and described as "sort of like a white supremacist" in his now-infamous Playboy interview, is suing Mayer for $3.1 million, claiming defamation and emotional distress.

"My client feels he was grossly mischaracterized by Mr. Mayer," said John Mayer's penis's attorney, Alan Schwartzbaum of Greenberg, Glusker and Associates of Los Angeles. "The reality of the situation is that my client doesn't have a racist bone in his, well, you know.

"Given the opportunity, my client says he would be more than happy to associate with women of color, an opportunity denied him by Mr. Mayer," said Schwartzbaum. "He'd particularly like to know if Halle Berry is available."

The suit filed by John Mayer's penis is only the latest blow to the singer, who has come under fire from all fronts in the wake of his "raw" remarks to Playboy. For instance, his comments on former girlfriend Jessica Simpson have drawn criticism from John Mayer's mother, Margaret Mayer.

"I did not raise my son to say things like, I want to quit my life and just (expletive) snort you, or If you charged me $10,000 to (expletive) you, I would start selling all my (expletive) just to keep (expletive) you," said Margaret Mayer, reading from a prepared statement at a press conference in Bridgeport, Conn. "He is in big trouble when he comes home for Purim."

"I also think he was very unfair to his penis," added Margaret Mayer.

[Read the rest at CAP News.]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh how funny!!! We needed a good laugh!