Saturday, December 31, 2011

IN AND OUT 2011: All The Rest!

Letting your iPhone (a.k.a. “Siri,” with whom you’re already, let’s face it, a little bit in love) do your thinking for you is in, and doing actual thinking is out. In a related story, inching ever closer to the inevitable robot revolution is in.

President Obama is, amazingly, in, despite caving in to the GOP left and right. But thanks to him, Osama bin Laden is out, so maybe it’s a wash.

The Tea Party is over. Please go back to your militias and wait for the impending government invasion.

Electric cars are still out, because despite the fact that they may save the world, they’re wussy. What we need is an electric car the size of a tank, preferably with machine guns mounted on the sides. Electric-powered machine guns, that is.

Thanks to the Green Bay Packers, cheese is in. And thanks to Tim Tebow, praying is in, and groping women, texting images of your private area and running dog-fighting rings are out. Take that, Satan!

Denying global warming is out, now that it’s too late. Fiddling while the world warms up is in.
Zombies continue to be in, and why wouldn’t they be? But vampires are suffering from overkill (sorry) and werewolves are just plain out. Yes, even “Teen Wolf.” OK, especially “Teen Wolf.”

Oprah is out of sight, but not out of mind. At least not at our house, thanks to our wall-sized Oprah shrine.

And finally, probably owing to the state of the economy, scaled-back versions of in-and-out lists are in. And you know what that means: We’re outta here!

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1 comment:

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