Wednesday, July 13, 2011

AT LARGE Fake News Wednesday: NASA Prepares To Shoot Nancy Grace Into Space

ATLANTA (CAP) - Headline News talk show host Nancy Grace said she is "honored and humbled" to have been chosen to be shot into space as part of NASA's first follow-up to the soon-to-be-defunct shuttle program.

"I am not a preacher, and I am definitely not a rabbi," Grace told CNN's Piers Morgan yesterday. "But as I accept this honor, I would say that the devil is doing the opposite of dancing tonight, whatever that would be. Maybe just sitting quietly in hell, not drinking champagne. Something like that."

Grace has been in the public spotlight recently with her coverage of so-called "tot mom" Casey Anthony, who was acquitted of murder charges last week despite Grace's assertion that she was "the most guilty person ever to exist in the long, sordid history of guilt."

"Even more guilty than that lady I talked into committing suicide that time," she added.

She also referred to the jury in the case as being "full of kooky kook-heads" and spent a full 20 minutes of her most recent show throwing darts at 8-by-10 glossy headshots of the jury members.

"Hey, I got Juror No. 3 right in the eyeball!" exclaimed Grace after one particularly accurate toss. Then she looked directly into the camera, raised an eyebrow and said, "Does that give you any ... ideas?" followed by a laugh that one cameraman, who asked not to be identified, described as "the most bone-chilling sound I've ever heard."

"And I used to work in a slaughterhouse," he added.

According to NASA spokesman Marvin Federer, a panel made up of astronauts, scientists, administrators and elected officials was unanimous in its choice of Grace to be the premier participant in its new Shuttle+ project.

"The project involves sealing someone in a seven-foot-long capsule, placing them in a state of suspended animation and shooting them into space for seven to 10 years," said Federer. "Nancy was the first name that came up."

[Read the rest at CAP News.]

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