Monday, June 13, 2005

If you listen, you can hear the steam
coming out of Nancy Grace's nostrils


You know what this other little finger could use?
A Band-Aid! Jeeves, bring one immediately!


Things we can safely say Michael Jackson is guilty of:
  • Popularizing the red leather jumpsuit.
  • Declaring himself "King of Pop," which, let's face it, was fairly presumptuous.
  • Making J.M. Barrie roll over in his grave.
  • Calling Tommy Mottola "devilish" -- this, about the man who discovered Mariah Carey!
  • Baby dangling.
  • "Captain Eo," which, granted, was not nearly as egregious as "Living with the Land." What a yawner!
  • Holding his own nose hostage for more than 18 years.
  • Prompting millions of unprepared white people to try to moonwalk, leading to advanced ankle strain.
  • Poor, poor Bubbles.
  • "Say, Say, Say." Enough said.

26 comments:

Angel! said...

I bet that the broke "man" Michael Jackson now is will sell dream vacations' packages to his Neverland Ranch to earn a few bucks!

The King of Pop and the late Mrs. Simpson said...

Naw, he's got a golf date with OJ and Robert Blake. After that they're gonna go out and look for the real child-molesters.

Jo said...

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michelle said...

It should be entertaining to see him try to revive his career now

Muddy said...

I almost spewed tea through my nose reading this post! Hilarious stuff man! Bravo! :))

ste. said...

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. "Living with the Land" kicks ass. /le sigh.

Kilted Domer said...

Curse you... now that stupid song is stuck in my head for the rest of the day!

1 said...

I feel bad for bubbles...that poor, poor monkey

wasssa said...

Here are a few more:
1. Making Elvis turn over in his grave.
2. Turning the Wizard of Oz into something really creepy.
3. Proving that even zombies want to get their groove on sometimes.
4. Being the first breathing cadaver.

Gabriella said...

Nice job. Some funny stuff you have there.

Frog said...

It was a THRILLER, wasn't it?

I Am The Walrus said...

Hilarious....Jack-o immediately joins the list of "Who Cares" in the Princess' list.

Chesty said...

More Dangling Babies!
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SuburbanTurban said...

Roflcopters, nice post.

fangchu said...

your bloggs wacko mate..

keep clicking..

Yeah.. Michael Jackson.. seems like a rags to riches, n riches to rag story.

Hope he pulls it off..
Waiting for the 'King of POP' to strike back.
Should be a good story !!

http://krazyteens.blogspot.com/

pappy said...

Funny stuff,keep it up

N/A said...

The problem is, Nancy Grace was right all along. Child molester goes free...even though Juror number one thinks that yes, Micahel seems to have molested children in the past....Jacko may in the near future have a nervous breakdown requiring inpatient psychiatric care or he will have a creative outpouring with another number one single. I'll love to see this pan out.

Anastasia said...

Held his finger hostage lololol....

Imagine if he was in Iraq?

Melodrama said...

ROTFLMAO! Holding his nose hostage....? hahahahahahahaha!

Batman said...

Michael Jackson is just over. The best thing for him now is to move to some remote place in
Europe where he can open Neverland Ranch Jr. and start his wonderful life all over again.

SFChick74 said...

LOL! Loved the Nancy Grace comment.


I actually fell asleep in Captian EO. I saw the first two minutes. The next thing I know my friend is telling me to get up and leave. The show was over.

Honey I Shrunk the Audience is much better.

Bensinger333 said...

HAHAHA!

RGS Specialists, Inc said...

You are so right ...Nancy Grace is worst than O'Rielly Factor

Black Cat said...

mj has turned from a black man to a white woman in my opinion

Chris said...

Agh! These men and their gloves.

Off to rural Chile where he can replace Paul Schaefer or France where he'll have peers.

Maybe he'll go away if we all just pretend. Michael who?

Chris said...

You know, Michael, there is always the Catholic priesthood.