Sunday, July 10, 2005

This week's column: Alien
hunters are just taking up space

You've probably read by now that experts predict they'll make contact with intelligent alien life by 2025. Given that, I'd like to take this public forum to express what I consider to be an important and relevant thought:

ATTENTION ALIENS! I hereby renounce my earthly governments and submit to your subjugation! Please do not fry me with your death ray lasers!

There, I feel better.

To read the rest of this week's At Large by Peter Chianca, click here.

20 comments:

Stefanie said...

Aha, but what if the aliens are raging republicans? What then? What if they are HUGE Bush fans and are actually waiting to invade because they're sure that Bush is doing such a super job that they don't want to intrude? I'm scared.

Amy Lynn said...

Have you seen War of the Worlds yet? Being a person who has never felt any real terror surrounding alien invasions or alien movies or alien movies with Tom Cruise as the lead character, I actually left the movie theater a little bit uncertain about my future on this planet.

praynlady said...

If you believe in God, there should be absolutely no uncertainty about life on this planet. If you do not know him, may I introduce the two of you? And to be the party pooper, this blog rocks but for the comments, it's just a movie. Maybe your in a dream and nothing is real..........

Sombra said...

Hi, im from Portugal... i found your blog in recently updates...

:)

Hamp Howell said...

Any word yet if your capitulation has been accepted?
Are you doing it out of hopelessness for our condition or awe of alien powers?
Are you ready to be probed in a spaceship?

Anonymous said...

The iPods are coming,m the iPods are coming.

Megan "Rio" Burns said...

Weelllll, it was only a matter of time before the alien overlords decided to cash our rent checks i.e. shoot us with their ray guns, cuz let's face it. Humans are kinda whiney! Plus we probably smell not so good to aliens. I imagine we smell a bit like a galactic version of rancid Cheez-Whiz. Dakota Fanning is proof that their are already aliens among us. The child is just eerie, sort of like Teddy Ruxpin.

Iye said...

nice one, look likes u..he he

PopeBenedictXVI said...

Calm down people. I've stumbled on the secret to world peace. Confusionism is the only way forward. Don't know what I'm talking about? Come visit the Cyber-Pope at:

http://www.cyber-pope.blogspot.com

wasssa said...

And what if the aliens were like that uncle you have who never gets the hint to go away and stays out his welcome. They would just lay around, drinking beer and eating twinkies until we ran out of both! And THEN where would we be?!? We'd have a bunch of lazy, annoying, now very hungry aliens on our hands. They might get so mad that they would go around destroying all of our Starbucks...oh wait...HEY ALIENS! LOOK FOR THE SPACE NEEDLE WHEN YOU ARE LANDING! We'll start with Washington and move across the country. Starbucks won't see THIS one coming! :)

eagleax said...

hey I just started a blog could you read it http:etoah.blogspot.com

caleb said...

dont worry if aliens invade the people in thier world will complain that the earth capaign is not worth it after all earth has few weapons of mass destruction, and the number of aliens coming back in bodybags upsets ordinary villians, who cares that the earthlings are posioning the atmosphere..

caleb said...

did i say villians i meant citizens lol oops

Webblogger said...

Boy am I glad to have found your blog while browsing to see what others are saying. I tell you I laughed until I cried. Humor, it's good for what ails 'ya. Why? cause it's sooooo... much truth invovled.

R2K said...

"If you believe in God, there should be absolutely no uncertainty about life on this planet. If you do not know him, may I introduce the two of you?"

See thats the fanatical religious rant that is now accepted as normal. When Cruise does it he is a crazy scientologist...

Guess what? You are all crazy, all with your own make belive tales to feel better. About this god or that, or this holy cow, or holy stone, or holy man, or holy woman.

You frankly have no depth, background, or place to comment about issues of science, or to complain about what others think about in their own crazy myth of creation.

I do know that, in most faiths, it would be unacceptable to pretend to be able to introduce people to god.

No-L said...

Well said Alex... Take me to your leader!

Joanna said...

everybody knows aliens can't read.

haji-o-matic said...

Maybe my wife could show some intelligence before 2025..now THAT would be impressive.

Dark Horse said...

The aliens have already made contact.

They're known as scientologists.

Queetzal said...

I accept your surrender. You will pay your taxes to me now (and hey're going up)