You've probably read by now that experts predict they'll make contact with intelligent alien life by 2025. Given that, I'd like to take this public forum to express what I consider to be an important and relevant thought:
ATTENTION ALIENS! I hereby renounce my earthly governments and submit to your subjugation! Please do not fry me with your death ray lasers!
There, I feel better.
To read the rest of this week's At Large by Peter Chianca, click here.