1) At Canobie Lake, no caramel apple is so caramelly that it doesn't warrant also being covered in rainbow sprinkles.
2) Playing the Blues Brothers at 12:30, 3:30 and 5:30 at Canobie Lake is probably better than playing the talking bar of soap in Blues Clues Live, but not by much.
3) What sick bastard thought it would be fun to sit for three minutes in a gigantic spinning, swinging Frisbee? I want names.
4) If I'm spending $47 to win an 18-cent Homer Simpson doll, tell me again why the economy is in trouble?
5) Molly the Mouse is like Minnie's cousin with the good personality. I'm just saying.