Just try to tell the real news stories from the satire. I dare you.
• I knew someday he'd go too far: "Dylan Christmas Album 'Last Straw' For Folk Festival Protestors."
• Was public grant money used for this? "Science ponders 'zombie attack.'"
• In case the literal video version left you wanting more, now we have "Total Eclipse of the Heart" -- Flowchart style.
• The Onion must have read my Youkilis column: "Mets Retaliate For David Wright Beaning By Murdering Pablo Sandoval."
• Didn't this happen in a Johnny Cash song? "Man stole motorbike -- part by part."
• It was only a matter of time: "Gangland murder tied to Facebook 'Goodfellas' quiz."
• What I do in my other life. OK, one of my other lives: "REVIEW: Springsteen has a steamy, spectacular first night in Mansfield."