Pop quiz! If you saw an alligator swimming in the Allegheny River, what would be the proper course of action?
1) Call your local animal control officer;
2) Run away screaming and waving your arms wildly in the air;
3) Capture it using techniques learned by watching the television program "Crocodile Hunter";
4) Shoot to kill.
Actually, any of 1, 2 or 4 are acceptable, but yes, No. 3 is the method tried by a Pennsylvania girl who found herself in just that situation. Apparently she grabbed the animal's snout and held its mouth closed so her friends could put it in a beverage cooler. They then gave the cooler to police, but it would have been funnier if they'd left it at a frat party. ("Dude, want another MichelAGGHGHGH!!!")