Wednesday, July 14, 2010

AT LARGE Fake News Wedneday: Doctors Recommend Against Lady Gaga-ectomies

NEW YORK (CAP) - Doctors are warning that teenage girls are putting themselves at risk if they use certain increasingly popular procedures to emulate singer Lady Gaga, such as hair sculpting, eye stretching and thigh elongating.

"All of these procedures are completely unnecessary and carry with them health risks that teenage girls lack the maturity to consider," said Dr. Bentley Worthington, chief medical officer at New York's SDN Medical Center, who also questioned the integrity of doctors who perform the services. "I know I personally would not perform a thigh elongation on anyone under 18, at least not without a convincing note from a parent or guardian."

That procedure, which involves removing fat and cellulite from thighs and stretching the remaining muscle and cartilage to mimic Lady Gaga's stick-thin appendages, is one of the most invasive, and has already resulted in serious complications for a 16-year-old girl from Moonachie, N.J.

"I was only supposed to gain two inches to my thighs, three tops," explained a teary Caitlin Rogers, whose thighs were overstretched during the procedure, leaving the formerly 5-foot-2 sophomore class treasurer a towering 5-10 1/2.

"And I can barely walk on these things," she added, gesturing to her skinny legs, which have become so wobbly that it's jeopardized her after-school position as a cashier at the Lehman Brothers Discount Clothing Outlet.

The doctor who performed that procedure, Dr. Cornelius Patch, declined to comment for this article, but in a prepared statement noted that he waived his fee for the procedure, and also did not charge Rogers for surgically attaching a giant blonde bow made of human hair.

While that's an extreme case, health professionals warn that even more relatively simple procedures carry potential problems. Doctors point to the fad that started the faux Gaga craze, "circle" contact lenses that give eyes an artificial "doe-eyed" look like the one the singer wore in her Bad Romance video. An increasing number of girls are making the look permanent via eye-stretching surgery involving a laser and tiny eyeball-enlarging clamps that must remain in place for two weeks to work properly.

The result, in addition to corneal abrasions and blinding infections, is "an entire generation of girls who look like Bratz dolls," according to U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan.

"I've talked to high school classes, and I tell you it's downright creepy, all those tremendous eyeballs staring back at you," said Duncan. "The only plus side is it takes attention away from their trampy outfits."

[Read the rest at CAP News.]

No comments: