'Sustain my veto or this kid gets it!'

President Bush has cast his first veto ever, apparently because he's under the impression that stem cell research involves scientists, clad in battle fatigues and body armor, hunting down small children and clubbing them as one might a baby seal, or as Dick Cheney might do to a hunting buddy. "This bill would support the taking of innocent human life in the hope of finding medical benefits for others," he said, which is apparently not a good enough reason, unlike, say, spreading democracy. Meanwhile, Bush says he would have vetoed something sooner, but he couldn't figure out how to get the little "Veto" stamp to work. "Turns out you need a ... what's it called, Karl? Right, an ink pad."