Let's face it: Entertainment Weekly can be fairly disturbing. You never know when you're going to take it out of your mailbox and see Tom Cruise's huge head staring at you with teeth bared, like he's going to jump out of the magazine cover and eat you with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
And last week I saw something almost equally as disturbing in its pages: the news that Garth Brooks is close to breaking Elvis Presley's record as the recording artist with the most albums sold. The worst part is, we all know how Garth Brooks did this. That's right, steroids.
No wait, sorry, I'm thinking of Barry Bonds, who as of this writing had just tied Babe Ruth's home run total through hard work, determination and having someone inject performance-enhancing drugs into his buttocks. (For those of you who don't follow baseball, this is sort of like winning the Nobel Prize by having your brain widened.) In Bonds' defense, though, it's worth noting that in Babe Ruth's day they didn't have steroids; if they did, Ruth might have been smoking them in big cigars rolled by hookers.
For the rest of this week's AT LARGE by Peter Chianca, click here.