Showing posts with label John Edwards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Edwards. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

AT LARGE Fake News Tuesday: John Edwards Suffering From Serious Karma Condition

GREENSBORO, N.C. (CAP) - A federal judge disclosed Friday that former presidential candidate John Edwards has a life-threatening karma condition, a court source confirmed to CAP News.

Edwards' criminal corruption trial has been delayed until at least March 26, according to the court source. Judge Catherine Eagles said she has been in contact with Edwards' karmalogist, who recommended a postponement, saying Edwards might not survive the massive bout of karma he finds himself facing.

Edwards is accused of violating federal election law by using nearly $1 million in illegal campaign donations to conceal an extramarital affair with his videographer, Rielle Hunter. Edwards admitted to making a sex tape and fathering a daughter with Hunter while his wife, Elizabeth, was dying of cancer.

"Given his background, it is not surprising that he is susceptible to bad karma," noted the karmalogist, Dr. Aagneya Deshpande, who added that he's somewhat surprised that Edwards hasn't already been crushed by some large falling object, like a boulder.

"Something very, very, very, very bad is coming at John Edwards like a runaway freight train," said Dr. Deshpande. "I'm just saying."

One legal expert, Professor Tom Patrick of the Ave Maria School of Law, said he doubted that Edwards' karma condition would influence a jury verdict.

"Edwards' serious problems with karma may prompt the public, including potential jurors, to view him in a more sympathetic light," said Patrick. "But probably not. I mean, how can you not hate the guy?"

"I'm just saying," added Patrick.

It's true that even if Edwards' survives his karma issues, attorneys are expected to have difficulty finding a jury not predisposed to hating his guts.

"To this day, whenever his name gets mentioned, my wife punches me," said Mark Fresnel, 45, of San Antonio, Texas. Fresnel is one of several men who took part in a Pew Research Center study that showed many women were taking Edwards' behavior out on their husbands. "If I got on that jury I'd vote for the death penalty."

[Read the rest at CAP News.]

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

AT LARGE Fake News Tuesday: Study - Women Blaming Husbands For John Edwards

WASHINGTON (CAP) - Women across America are dealing with their anger at former presidential candidate John Edwards, and showing their solidarity with his embattled wife, Elizabeth, by making their own husbands' lives miserable, according to a new study.

"It's fascinating, actually," said Dr. Francis Spitznagel of the Pew Research Center. "It wasn't their husbands who lied, cheated or fathered a baby out of wedlock, but they're the ones getting berated, denied sex and, in some cases, physically punished."

"My wife yelled Men are pigs! and hit me in the shoulder with The Politician," said Mark Fresnel, 44, of San Antonio, Texas, referring to one of several new books to portray Edwards' dysfunctional behavior. "Stupid John Edwards."

According to Dr. Spitznagel, women who participated in the study seemed to follow a similar thought pattern:

1) John Edwards is a disgusting pig.
2) John Edwards is a man.
3) My husband is a man.
4) My husband must be a disgusting pig.

"Then they hit the husband with one of the books," said Spitznagel.

"How could a man run around with some strange woman and get her pregnant, and make a SEX TAPE, while his wife has CANCER?" asked study participant Sally Johansen, 38, of New Brunswick, N.J., then turning to her cringing husband, Craig, 40, and yelling "ANSWER ME!"

"If I ever meet John Edwards, I'm going to punch him right in the face," murmured Craig Johansen as his wife continued to glare at him icily.

[Read the rest at CAP News.]