Tuesday, June 26, 2012
At Large Fake News Tuesday: Romney To Move US In New Direction Via Tugboats
"Every day, President Obama's failed economic policies are taking us squarely in the direction of Europe," Romney told a crowd during a campaign event in Troy, Ohio. "As soon as I get into office I will start moving this country in a new direction, namely west.
Noticing the horrified looks from his aides, he quickly added, "Er, not me, of course ... other people."
Although he admitted the prospect of dragging an entire country even a short distance was "a massive undertaking," Romney said, "most Americans are looking for a new direction, and as my father used to say, there's nothing we can't do if we have the right leadership and enough tugboats."
Romney said the project would also be a job creator, noting they'd have to manufacture hundreds of massive tugboats approximately three to four times larger than a typical ocean liner, as well as miles and miles of super-high-tensile cable.
"Plus some kind of really long stakes or something to tie it to, probably," he said.
The proposal comes on the heels of criticism that Romney has spent too much time criticizing the president's "failed policies" without offering concrete plans of his own. In recent weeks he has also proposed programs that would:
- Employ thousands of carpenters, woodworkers and tree surgeons to make all the trees in the U.S. the "right height."
- Provide citizenship cards, driver's licenses, voter registration and Spotify accounts to all corporations, on the grounds that they are people.
- Install airtight dog carriers on the top of every American-made vehicle.
"And they work for your grandchildren too!" Romney quipped.
[Read the rest at CAP News.]