Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord mywaahahhahahahghhh! (thud)

Regular readers of this blog know that I'm a big fan of science, what with all its discoveries and everything. I'm particularly fond of scientific studies, which utilize millions of dollars to find out exactly what is killing us (answer: everything).

The latest study to open our eyes to an earth-shattering conclusion we would have never reached on our own is one in the most recent journal Pediatrics, which concludes that bunk beds ... wait for it ... are more dangerous than regular beds. This apparently has something to do with placing a bed six feet in the air rather than on the ground, although it will probably take another million or so in grant money to confirm that.

But it isn't just the height that's the problem. For instance, some kids fail to take proper effort to land on their feet when they roll out of bed in the middle of the night. Then there are the kids in the bottom bunk, who sometimes get landed on. And then there's this problem:

... from ages 18 to 21, the researchers found, when many bunk bed users are living at schools, the injury rates were also high. Alcohol often seemed to play a role, the researchers said.

So college students, remember: If you're going to get drunk, make sure to climb into your bunk bed first.