Sure, it may seem like the end of the world is nigh, but that doesn't mean there's no good news to report. St. Louis-based Solae LLC has announced that it's perfected the hybrid hamburger. And you know what that means. That's right, a hamburger that gets more than 50 miles to the gallon. Al Gore has just ordered up a gross.Wait, my mistake. Actually it's a hybrid of actual beef and soy protein, which means it has less fat and calories than a regular hamburger, but it doesn't taste like a piece of rubber that's been melted down and poured into a hamburger-shaped mold. Unfortunately you still have to kill the cow, which means Paul McCartney remains out of luck.
According to MSNBC, SoleCina "converts a blend of vegetable and meat protein into a meat substitute or hybrid with the consistency of cooked, whole-muscle meat." To quote Jonathan McIntyre, Solae’s vice president of research and development, “You get the chewiness and mouth-feel quality."
Suddenly I'm not so hungry.
How did we get to this? We used to enjoy opium, prostitutes and shorter lives. But things made more sense back then. Who gives a damn about the perfect hybrid anything...? It's food. Kudos to the mouth-feel quality. Someone needs a fleshlight.
ReplyDelete