And if President Bush suddenly announces he's paying off the deficit in cash, it's time to worry

Those counterfeiters are at it again! It apparently wasn't enough for them to print fake Euros with big-breasted naked women on them. Now they've gone and done up a phony billion-dollar bill. So please, convenience store clerks of America: If someone tries to pass a billion-dollar bill to buy a Clark bar, please make sure it's real before you let him walk out with his $999,999,999.35 in change.