Well I got this blog, and I learned how to make it talk ...

Things I'm willing to do to get tickets to see Bruce Springsteen, the greatest live performer in the history of rock 'n' roll:

• Wear a headband for the better part of a decade;
• Disregard years of grammatical training in the hopes that these badlands might actually start treating us good;
• Sunbathe in my underwear with Patti Scialfa;
• Listen to "Human Touch" straight through (I've actually done this recently -- it's a lot better than you remember. No, seriously.);
• Do an awkward white-man dance with Courtney Cox;
• Vote for John Kerry;
• Let my ramrod rock (just not in public);
• Volunteer to be the guy who tells unruly crowd members to shut the &%#@! up;
• Pick a random person out of my life (boss, mailman, distant relative) and refer to him exclusively as "The Big Man";
• Promise to seek out and destroy every remaining copy of this picture.

Bruce, please send the tickets care of this blog. I'll just sit here and wait.