Not to be confused with the spunky waitress on 'Alice'

For some reason I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that National Grid has created a virtual polar bear character named "Floe" who can "help National Grid customers analyze and measure the environmental effects of their routine daily activities." Such as, for instance, powering up your computer in order to play with a virtual polar bear.

The best (or most horrifying) part is that as you enter your bad energy-consumption habits, the already precarious ice floe that Floe is standing on melts further away. I can only assume that if you waste enough energy, Floe will eventually fall into the water and drown -- I'm sure the Grand Theft Auto crowd will keep at it until they can figure that out. (Meanwhile, if you admit that you have, say, a digital photo electric picture frame that you keep plugged in all day, Floe will come to your house and maul you to death.)

In a related story, make sure to check out this exclusive report from CAPNews, on how the president has figured out a way to give the polar bear the protection environmentalists say it so direly needs:

"The experts say the polar bears need protection," continued Bush, "and nobody gives protection like these Secret Service guys, lemme tell ya. For one thing, they always make sure to take your keys away if you're tanked."